Chapter 9

Lara called me in the afternoon.

“Can I meet you later? Please?” she was pleading. I was still thinking of Valentia. If not for Lara, I could be enjoying my work with Valentia.

“No. Look, I’m not going to fetch you from your void deck tomorrow. I’m not your chauffeur.”

“You’re my boyfriend.”

I did not reply her. I was about to slam down the phone when she said, “Wait!” I pushed the phone back to my ear and waited for what she was about to say. “Can I meet you now? Please, dear dear, don’t be angry with me… I’m sorry… I’m very depressed now. My mum said she-”

“I’m not interested in your domestic affairs. I’m not interested, alright? I-”

“We’ll just let you cool down then.” she said, cutting me. Before I could retort, she hung up on me.

Bitch.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Basketball.”

Valentia had asked me what sport I liked. I answered her almost immediately.

“Aww, basketball players are just so cool. Especially if they, you know, wear those sleeveless jerseys to showcase their bicep muscles. Aww.” Valentia said, as she passed me a box.

I pulled up my sleeves, grabbed the box and walked towards the stack of boxes behind me. “Later, I’m going to get some of my friends for a basketball game. Wanna tag along? We always wear basketball jerseys.” I tightened the muscles at my arms. “And we train often at the gym.”

Valentia clapped, just like a little girl. “Yes! Okay!”

I looked around me again. Lara was nowhere to be seen. Afraid that she might follow me later, I sent her a SMS:

Don’t look for me later. I wanna cool off. Going pub with Jackson n gang.

After that, I messaged Jackson and gang for a game of basketball.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

While I was on the court, Valentia watched my every movement. When I tried to peek at her, her eyes were on me. I would just smile, gave her a thumbs-up sign and continued my game.

I begged Jackson and gang not to tell Lara about Valentia. I told them Valentia was just a friend’s sister. They agreed after much persuasion. Jackson asked for Valentia’s number but I gave him a wrong number.

When Jackson and gang were gone, I was alone with Valentia once again. As we were near my neighbourhood, I kept my vigil on, making sure that Lara or her mother would not appear out of nowhere.

“Do you smoke?” Valentia asked all of a sudden.

I thought about it for a while. At first, I wondered if she smoked. Before I could say anything, she fished out a green cigarette box from her bag. There was a big “Marlboro” written on the box. Then, she slapped the head of the box onto her palm repeatedly.

“Well?” she asked again. I had always associate people who dyed hair as smokers.

“Yes.” I said, stared at the box and looked away.

Valentia opened the box and passed me a stick. I held it by the filter and waited. Then, she fished out a zippo from her bag, flipped it open with a neat feat and lit her stick. The stick burned almost immediately and she exhaled a rush of smoke.

Shaking a little, I put the stick on my mouth. I had only a few friends who smoked and they were not my hang-outs. Sometimes, I thought smoking was cool as only adults smoke. But the smoke was, to me, smelly and choky.

Valentia lit the zippo and placed the flame at the end of my stick. I waited for the stick to burn, but it did not. “Suck in.” Valentia said and I sucked. Hot air exploded in my mouth. I blew it out instantly.

Valentia giggled a little. I held the stick by the filter, smiled at her and wondered if I had played my act well. Valentia dragged again and smoke flowed out from both her mouth and nose.

I waited for another five seconds before I put the stick between my lips and sucked. Then, I blew the air out. My mouth smelled of tobacco and ash. Why had I not coughed when this was my first stick? I thought people who first smoked always coughed a lot.

“You didn’t inhale the smoke in.” Valentia said. She demonstrated as she inhaled the smoke, opened her mouth and before the smoke could escape, she breathed in deeply and the smoke all rushed into her lungs. A second later, she exhaled and smoke came out slowly. “See?”

I tried duplicating her action. When I sucked the smoke into my lungs, I coughed and a rush of blood jolted into my brain. A feeling of dizziness followed.

“Gosh.” I said. It was then I realized my beans had been spilled out: She now knew this was my first stick.

“Let me be your teacher.” Valentia said, as she told me the rules of smoking.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

When Lara called me for the tenth time on my off-day, I thought enough was enough.

When I rushed down, she was sitting on the stone-chair at my void deck. Her eyes were red and she was holding on to her wallet tight. I took a stick out of my cigarette box and lit it. Lara put her wallet on the table and stared at me, mouth opened.

I took a long drag and exhaled. “Stop looking at me like that.” I said and flicked some ash off.

“Dear dear-”

“I’m tired, all right? Tell me all your stories in one or two minutes.” I said, took another long drag and felt the effect immediately.

Lara nodded. “Why? What had happened to us? It’s like you’ve changed-”

“If you wanna tell me that, I don’t wanna listen. Look, I’m just sick of you.” I muttered. “Sick and tired of your actions. Calling me every hour, wanting to know my exact location every time. Oh, come on. I want freedom.”

“I can change.”

“You can just talk and talk. Then what? Tell me how sad your life is?”

She answered by not saying anything.

“Look, Lara, we’re getting our results next month. We’re going to different schools soon. All good things come to an end.”

Lara was breathing so fast that her chest went up and down.

“I think it’s better if we are friends.”

Lara massaged her temple, dropped a tear before she digested my words. By the time she was calm, she lowered her eyebrows. The end of her eyebrows nearly touched each other. She cleared her throat and said, “Fuck off, Zhou Jie Lun. You don’t deserve Lara. You deserve shit. Shit!” Then, she just walked off. And as she was walking, she even showed me her middle finger.

In my impression, Lara had always been the innocent girl-next-door. I had not expected such an outburst from her. She just said “fuck”?

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